Stress, at its roots, is primarily a physiological system. Our brain is made up of a series of different parts with the parts that are generally more advanced and evolved on the outside, and the generally simpler and less evolved on the inside. Two of the innermost parts are the limbic system and the brain stem. The limbic system is the part of our body the controls our natural bodily reflexes, while the brain stem controls our unconscious, metabolic functions like heart rate and breathing.
When our body encounters an event we perceive as stressful, our limbic system kicks in and starts to take control of the brain stem. Our heart rate increases, we breath more quickly, our sleep cycle is ignored, and the other parts of our brain focused on problem solving and creativity are devoted exclusively to the problem before us.
So, why does this happen?
Our brain knows that in order for us to have the highest chance of survival, we need to devote all our energy to the immediate problems. This would be very useful to ancient hunter-gatherer civilizations as people living in that time probably faced frequent attacks from predators and those with a strong stress response system would have been more likely to survive and pass on their traits to their children. The problem we face in today’s society, however, is when our stress responses become prolonged and start cause detrimental effects to the rest of our body.
As we become more irritated, and more angry, due to our having a difficult time sleeping and our hormones being out of sync, we naturally start to take out our frustrations on those around us who are closest to us, which is almost always our family. Once our personal stress starts affecting the family, it transforms into a family stressor. Family stressors come in many forms, most commonly consisting of marital issues, death of a family member or someone close to the family, economic uncertainty, or harmful behavior from children or adults.
That being said, there have been proven ways to overcome stress. I think back to a time when my family was going through a stressful period. While my dad has had a consistent job and we have always had the money for our needs and then some, we aren’t particularly well off and live in a relatively small 4-bedroom house. Another family from our church congregation had recently gone through a traumatic experience as the father tried to kill himself in front of his family. We offered their family a place to stay in our house, but it involved trying to fit their family 7 in with our family of 7 which lasted for about six months.
While their family was great, they came from a very different background compared to ours, and it was just a difficult situation in general when you try to fit 14 people from different families into 4 bedrooms. I remember hearing my parents argue about something for the first time in a very long time, and I remembered feeling down and stressed out because our personal space had been obstructed.
However, as we learned in our class, stressful situations can lead to a stronger family. Our parents frequently let us know how important we were to them, and how important our sacrifice was, which helped us see the situation in a better light. A few weeks after I overheard my parents arguing, we had a family scripture study in which they testified to us kids about how much Christ has sacrificed for us, and how important it was that we helped everyone we could. Looking back, some of my most favorite memories were from the time we were helping that family. Ultimately my parents were able to turn a stressful situation into a period of family growth.
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