Communication

As we go about our day to day lives, we often take for granted just how amazing and complex our everyday communication is. Our modern technology allows us to compose and send short messages to anyone across the world in a matter of seconds. Through video chat, we can not only talk to but actually see someone thousands of miles away from us in real time. Even without technology, we can communicate complex ideas and stories to others through a series of sounds and gestures. Communication is truly amazing, yet it has many flaws, some of which we often don’t realize or think of.

Unfortunately, we cannot just directly transfer what is in our head to someone, so every time we want to communicate, we must follow a process that we almost never realize we are doing.

In the first step we have to encode the message that we want to share. It will not be a perfect one to one representation of what is in our head, so we will have to try our best to get the general idea across.

Secondly, we must choose a method to transfer the message. Traditionally this almost always been through face-to-face communication, with an occasional written letter used by those with the proper education, and while face-to-face communication is still probably the most common, more and more people are starting to use other methods such as communication through text, phone call, email, and social media.

Third, the person who is the target of the message must receive it and decode it as best they can. Many issues can arise here because the way we see the world is often very different from the way others see the world, and what may mean one thing to us might mean something entirely different to the person receiving our message.

Finally, in order for complete communication to occur, we must receive some sort of feedback from the person we are talking to.

As you can see, normal, everyday communication that we often take for granted can have problems and become disrupted quite easily. I know from my personal experience, I often and misunderstood when I text because of the way I use punctuation or the length of time it takes me to get back to someone. I now take my time to think out what I am texting and how the person receiving it will view it because I don’t want to be misunderstood.

Now, what does all of this have to do with the family?

We usually will spend the most time of our lives with our family, and without effective communication, many problems can arise in family situations. Growing up, my family was really close, and we always had each other’s backs. That being said, the most common form of contention between my parents, and with us kids sometimes, was a lack of communication. When we sat down and talked about it we were usually on the same page of thought, but oftentimes at the moment, we would sometimes have trouble communicating with each other which would lead to misunderstandings, which would lead to temporary frustrations with one another.

So, what can we do to get better at communication?

The way I saw my family get better at communication was through family counsels. We would discuss coming activities or challenges and my mom and dad would get input from us kids before making final decisions on things. Another way we to boost communication is through doing activities together. The more we spend time with one another, the better we understand each other and the more we will strive to pay attention and communicate clearly in the future. It is also important to use the right form of communication at the right time, and while face-to-face is often the most effective, sometimes it is better to write a letter or email to really get your thoughts out and to avoid letting emotions get in the way.